Jordan Belfort

I’ve been a poor man and a rich man,

and I’ll choose rich every fucking time,

doesn’t matter if what I did was illegal,

nor did it matter if I committed crime.

I don’t know how I can stop my mouth,

it can be really fucking dirty and foul,

Do you want me to watch my mouth?

Take my eyeballs out and turn them around?

I love anything that causes addiction

Whores, drugs, drugs and more drugs,

the greatest drug of all time is money,

I don’t give a damn like all I do is shrug

I don’t deal with anything as common as guns

or pain or hurt or any type of violence,

mind you I did beat my wife up once,

after I told her to shut up and be silent.

I told this guy to sell me this pen,

he asked me why not a pencil?

because pencils fucking break brainless,

and writing with a broken pencil is pointless

Now sell me this fucking pen, dim-wit

shove it down my throat until I choke on it

Give me something to write with, asshole,

so I can write out my success and brag about it

You want this house, you want this car?

It depends on how you spend your time,

work so fucking hard to earn that dollar

so you’re never again short of a dime.

Nothing is more heavenly than being wealthy,

with that beautiful house and that beautiful wife,

even though you cheat on her every week,

you couldn’t cut the leisure with a stocky steak knife

Rich people have connections all over the world

They’re not completely trustworthy however,

like it’s my back that hurts their knives,

but I don’t care about their miserable fucking lives.

Then come the fucking FBI sniffing around,

like they’re hungry for cocaine or something,

coming on to my yacht, from out of town,

now my yacht is all grubby and disgusting.

“Clean this shit up, Gary, clean it the fuck up!”

“What, I don’t see any dirt man, the fuck is up?”

“The FBI sat here, and stood there and there,

now go get a sponge and scrub it all up!”

(A lot of swearing, but Jordan Belfort is not Jordan Belfort without his 18+ label)