My favourite Eminem Puns

"I must be allergic to failure, cos every time I come close to it, I just sneeze, but I just go achoo, then achieve"
- Survival, The Marshall Mathers LP 2

"Quit playing with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap."
- Not Afraid, Recovery.

"Standing on top of my monopoly board, that means I'm on top of my game."
- No Love, Recovery.

"But it's time to exorcise (exercise), these demons, these motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now."
Not Afraid, Recovery.

"Why do I hear the sound of toilets flushing, some shit is going down."
- Where I'm At, H. F. M. 2 (Hunger for more)

" I gave Bruce Wayne a Valium and said, settle ya fucking ass down, cos I'm ready for combat man, get it? Calm Batman?"
- Cinderella Man, Recovery. (You need to say 'combat' in an American accent to understand it)

"Cos the way that I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club, or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up, cos I'm raising the bar."
- Not afraid, Recovery.

"If I can't batter the women, how the fuck am I supposed to bake them a cake then?"
- Rap God, The Marshall Mathers LP 2

"But for me to rap like a computer, it must be in my genes (jeans), I got a laptop in my back pocket" 
- Rap God, The Marshall Mathers LP 2

THERE IS WAY TOO MANY CLEVER PUNS, I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO TYPE THEM UP!!!! :((((((((( SO MUCH BETTER THAN THESE AS WELL!!