The War

“I will not hesitate to save your life, even if it means the end of my life. I will not stop trying to protect you because I need you and you have no idea how much. I will never leave you to face this cruel world on your own. You can count on me, brother. You can count on me.”

The wind is subtle tonight, I’m glad because I need to say goodbye as softly as I can manage. It hurts like a thousand knives slicing into my heart but I’ve made up my mind. Unsurprisingly, I can feel a burden of sorrow weighing me down and the shattering of my heart. The weather makes no difference. I clutch onto my wife’s hand and kiss her tears away. With my other hand, I feel her stomach; it’s a tiny, firm bump. I smile against her cheek as she sobs silently beside my ear. I take her head in my hands and kiss her passionately, all of my longing from the years to come, all of my love, and all of my fervour goes into this one kiss. A tear escapes from my own eyes, combined with her bittersweet weeps. With one final embrace, I let go and march on, away from her, without as much as a backward glance.

It has been years now; I haven’t seen my wife and son for five years. His name is Jamie, named after my brother. I’m so grateful to have my brother with me, battling in this war. Our supplies are scarce, we have very little food and water. Our tents are now slippery and wet blankets for us to sleep under on the frozen, grimy and rigid ground. My eyes have been scarred for life from all the bloodiness and heartbreak I had to endure during this conflict. My brother and I still remain; it’s my brother I’m mostly concerned about. If I’m to lose him then I’m as good as dead. My brother is my only companion; I need and love him so much. How could I live if he died? I know he won’t because he would have been dead by now. The only reason I’m still alive is because my brother has been watching over me like a hawk.

Today, we couldn’t rest because we had a massive battle reaching us. New recruits have flown in and I’m pleased because our numbers are decreasing faster than going down on a roller-coaster ride. My brother is beside me, readying himself for hell to break lose. He smiles at me weakly and I return his smile.
“Remember, I’m here. You can count on me,” he says, reassuringly. Those five words have been the most frequent words out of his mouth. Jamie White, a military man and cares about no one but me. He has dedicated himself to look after me on this battlefield. He’s brawny, confident and adamant to protect me. I only wish that I could protect him but I’m a lot less sturdy than he is. If I die today, I would’ve died in high spirits because Jamie was my brother (I couldn’t have asked for a better one) and just knowing that Amelia and my son were safe, was more than enough to send me off smiling.
“Will you be okay?” I whisper, my heart racing at the speed of light. Adrenaline is scampering through me and I can hear nothing but the pounding of my heart. I can feel myself warming at the searing of my blood.
“You know I will, Flynn. You save me every time,” he says, tenderly.
“How?” I try to recall a time where I’ve saved his life but only see images of him saving mine.
“You just do, cadet.” He pulls me into a hard hug as if it’s going to be our last brotherly embrace. I hold onto his sturdy arms tightly, relishing every inch of him. I’m not ready to let him go, not now not ever!
“Promise me that you won’t get yourself killed,” I say. He narrows his eyes and tilts his head to one side. He looks baffled as if he doesn’t comprehend what I’m saying. He has his copper-coloured hair glinting in the sunlight and his brow furrowed with concern. If anything were to happen to this man, I’d die a thousand deaths.
“You can count on me,” he says, smiling his remarkable smile. These words encourage me all the time thus I prepare myself for battle. Right on cue, the general steps out, gives us the nod and we head out cautiously, sauntering around the battlefield.

The grimy mud splodges beneath my feet and I can't escape the icy cold winds that compel my face to sting. It is raining with an unruly nature; the sun has retreated from the grounds and I can't breathe with ease anymore. My brother and I step into our trench and I gaze around, focusing with intense concentration for any signs of danger. I'm teeth-clattering and frozen to my trench and I can't focus on my aim.

I hear something screeching severely in the distance.

Tanks.

Suddenly, I hear nothing but gunfire moving to and fro and deafening explosions of bombs. I can hear the shouts of my men, the shrieks of the injured. I clutch onto my weapon tight, readying myself for any danger to appear my way. I gaze around, searching for an enemy, searching for someone to shoot. I find no one. Yet, I can hear the silent roars of gunfire in the distance. Who is shooting? Why are they doing it? I see no one. Suddenly, the rain falls like bullets down on our helmets, pounding with clinks like shots being fired at metal. The revolting odour of my sweated body and soaked mud overwhelm by nostrils. The combination is dreadful. My fingers are numb; it feels like my body is too. I can't move! Jamie’s shouts are throbbing in my ears, causing me to turn deaf. "Take cover, cadet, take cover!" He bellows at me, wide-eyed and a look of shock flitting across his face. He’s quite a distance from me but I do as I'm told. I assemble all my strength to move my body, below my trench when I realize why I was told to protect myself. Piercing bullets come shooting at me and I shield myself effectively with sturdy metal. When the shots subside, I clamber out of my haven and fire back at the enemy. Blood is searing through my body, pumping loud and for a moment, the thunderous pumping of my blood is all I can hear above all the shootings and explosions. I aim for a Russian soldier with a machine gun on the roof top of a crumbled building; I shoot several times before I see him slump under my almost accurate shots. I assume he's just injured; my aim was not at the heart. I hear hurried and slushy footsteps behind me and I turn swiftly to see more Russian soldiers charging at us, I take cover again and peak out for as long as two seconds for occasional shots. When it's safe to climb out of my trench, I relocate myself further down the line of where my men are based at the battlefield. I duck and miss shots fired at me during my move. I settle next to Jamie and fire deafeningly at five different soldiers; it took one of my bullets to injure them each. I'm pleased with the outcome. I had never done that before and now I have. The feeling is exquisite. Though, I can't relish the feeling for long when suddenly a bomb explodes about ten feet from where I sat. I take flight through the wet air and land hard on the ground. I'm alive. Thank you God. I have all my limbs! 

When I look up, I see Jamie, his eyes wide and vigilant. He lifts me from the ground and examines me with a fretful expression on his face. He pulls me away from the danger; places me in our trench and I see something that breaks my heart a little. A lone tear escapes from Jamie’s eyes and before I can stop myself, I’m crying too.
“Are you hurt?” he asks me, anxiety in his voice. I’m still crying silently as I stare into his dark blue eyes. I nod and pull him towards me. I cry harder against his shoulder and he grips me more firmly. When I recover my equilibrium, I examine him as he did me, searching for a wound or stain of blood. I see nothing.
“Are you okay?” I ask, croakily. Another lump is forming in my throat but I don’t have time for my fragile self right now.
“I’m fine Flynn, you stay here, don’t move. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I’m not a coward, Jamie!” I yelp, shocked by his audacity. I’m a soldier and soldiers fight, cowards hide.
“I never said you were! My God, Flynn. You are even more courageous than me, everyone knows that. I just don’t want you to get hurt, brother.” He looks at me with sorrow in his eyes and my heart constricts. He’s just cried for the first time, or it was the first time I’ve witnessed him crying. I don’t want to be responsible for that look at all.
“We might be fighting in hell but whether we live or die, we’ll be dancing our way to heaven,” I smile at him. He smiles back and nods, indicating our return on the battlefield. How could I love someone with such unconditional brotherly love? I think about Amelia, my wife and Jamie, my son. The depth of love I feel for the most important people in my life is impossible. I’d rather die than see any of them get hurt. I peek out of my trench with Jamie and we fire loudly in unison at our Russian opponents. I’m careful not to leave myself too exposed. Well, perhaps I’m being so careful because Jamie has his burly elbow forcing me as low as possible with just my face peering out. I notice with triumph that the number of Russian militants is decreasing by a large extent. This seems like an extremely just war. Jamie’s probably the greatest and the bravest soldier of all time and I’m so fortunate to have him by my side. Jamie turns to me, the familiar crease of his brow greeting me once more.
“I’m going to check on the others, will you be okay on your own for a while? I want you to stay here, do you understand!” he bellows above all the shots and bombs.
“No! I’m coming with you; I want to know you’re safe too!” I scream in his ear.
“I will be safe Flynn, you can count on me!” I surrender to his words and I envelop him deeply.

The gunfire ceases after Jamie’s departure.

That should reassure me, but it hasn’t. I wait for him because I have no one to shoot anymore. All the Russian soldiers are just an endless line of corpses. I wait for him for ten minutes...fifteen...twenty. I wait. I keep waiting. He does not return. I finally give up and search hungrily for Jamie.

 I nearly faint when I see him, on the ground, face down and blood gushing from his back. I have died a thousand deaths. I race over to him, turn him over and feel his pulse. I feel nothing. I pump his chest with intense force. I feel his pulse. I feel nothing. I sob violently into his chest, his blood painted on my face.

I stand, succumbing to any blow that comes my way. I feel solace when a single bullet finds its way through my brain. I have just enough life in me to hear the roars of gunfire restarting. My life flashes before my eyes. I see my wife, my son and my brother. I hear a voice floating in my head and I know it is Jamie’s voice.

“I will not hesitate to save your life, even if it means the end of my life. I will not stop trying to protect you because I need you and you have no idea how much. I will never leave you to face this cruel world on your own. You can count on me, brother. You can count on me.” I recall that he never promised me anything. And with that last thought, I die.