An unanticipated update

 My last blog post was a good 2 years ago, but I always recall back to this page, it may take a couple of years for me to remember it, but it is somewhere buried within the human storage unit, the brain. I undertook a PGCE course at Roehampton university, which I chose not to complete because my desire for teaching significantly waned during that time. It was an abysmal course, filled with an overload of paperwork; I was up to my neck in files and folders I just could not keep a track of. Working in teaching made me realise something about how terrible my vocabulary has become. Teaching the KS1 realm, I have had to lower my standards in vocabulary, I have even noticed my inability to spell simple words. I have a fear of being out of education because once you are out, the more simple-minded you become. But this is even the case while staying within the domain of education. I have discovered that as you try to break down concepts for these 6 year old children, the less sophisticated you become in your language. Once, during my PGCE, I was teaching a year 1 class and had used the word "symbolise" - they do not have a clue what this word means, however, I was still suffering a university level mindset. My high degree in English Literature was only completed a year prior to that lesson. My writing since then has diminished in sophistication. Even now, the point of this blog post is lost, I have failed to keep to one point and have gone off on a tangent. I have not written an academic essay in 2 years, and I am afraid I am ageing rapidly. At the age of 25, my 18 year old self said that I would be married by now, it is a laughable concept at this point in my life. I used to read books upon books and write stories within stories, but all of that is gone now. Is this my time to get back in touch with the literature guru that lives within? Possibly. But I have a great many goals that I have set for myself in 2023:

- learn how to drive

- learn a new language

- learn how to cook

- begin to think about marriage

- find a high paying jobs (my skills are lost in the education sector) 

Since my last post, I have definitely lost a multitude of weight. I am quite proud of this achievement and everyone I know bombard me with questions about how I did it. It was this simple: I got COVID-19, that had me losing a bunch of weight in the space of two weeks. I was also stressed, my PGCE did not allow me to eat or rest and I was walking every day back from the despicable institution that was Colham Manor Primary School. The worst experience I ever had in a school, but we can discuss that later. From COVID and the stresses of my PGCE, I continued on losing weight. I used that as a way to motivate the extra weight to be lost. Suddenly, the changes in my body were so severe that I managed to lose a whopping 16kg in the space of 5-6 months. It was glorious. One thing I noticed once I lost all that weight is the different outlook you have on life. I felt more confident in myself, happier, more willing to go out etc. I knew I became more beautiful than I ever had been, and it had me wondering how much I wasted my early 20s away being very immature. I hadn't grown into a woman fully until now. The things I used to care about in my early 20s is very childish as I look back. I wish I was washed with productivity.